Hipsters.
uNF!Hipsters, that's what. They disgust me. I'm not sure how international of a phenomenon hipsters are, and I'm willing to bet that even many of you from the good ol' US of A aren't familiar with hipsters. Consider yourselves blessed.
Defining a hipster is somewhat difficult, seeing how everyone has their own definition of a hipster; it's similar to how emos are defined, or not defined. Finding an accurate definition of a hipster is made even more difficult by the fact that all hipsters vehemently deny allegations of hipsterness. Conversely, if one does ever proclaim oneself a hipster, the chances are that they aren't actually a hipster.
In light of these complications, I've decided to hop on the bandwagon and come up with my own idea as to what a hipster is.
A hipster is a creature of paradox. They are religiously non-conformist, yet they are all strikingly similar. They follow an unspoken (except, it seems, in magazines like Vice) code of what to wear*, what to listen to**, what to drink how to act, who to idolize.
They claim to be individuals, yet they follow a pack mentality.
They fancy themselves adventurous, yet they all hang out in the same shitty dive bars and go to the same house parties every night.
They hold some loose association with art, yet most of the hipsters I know of don't play an instrument, don't paint, write, sing, or practice any other form of art except spending large amounts of time snapping contrived, artsy, yet seemingly spontaneous photos of themselves for their myspace or deviantart pages.
They practice the art of dressing themselves in a similar fashion - they appear apathetic while meticulously maintaining their bohemian counterculture appeal.
They affiliate themselves with some form of activism but do nothing to contribute, because it's fashionable to occasionally speak of globalization, lgbt rights, global warming, etc., but apparently not fashionable enough to break their apathy and nightly habit of party/concert going.
They seem to have an extremely complex relationship between narcissism and self hatred. I will illustrate:
Surface - apathetic of themselves and everyone else
Beneath - unforgivably narcissistic, evidenced by all the time and effot they spend dressing and taking pictures of themselves
Farther beneath - perhaps a seething self hatred, evidenced by the fact that none of them will admit to being hipsters and proclaim to hate the word, and even to hate hipsters themselves?
The core - empty I believe. Hipsters have no souls.
Well I seem to have lost my train of thought and moved the more enlightening parts of my definition down to the asterisks.
On a second note - those of you who know me will perhaps notice some apparent hypocrisies in my definition and hatred of hipsters. Some of you may even think me a hipster. Allow me to deconstruct and debunk these points one by one.
1. I also vehemently deny any allegations of being a hipster. I realize this is counterproductive, but there it is. The only thing left for me to do then is continue this list.
2. I listen to some (a lot, even) of the same music that hipsters do.
The differences:
-I only discover these bands/artists long after the cutting edge hipsters have dismissed them as mainstream.
-I do not listen to (relatively) obscure music for "indie creds" or whatever; I listen to it because I enjoy it much more than the garbage on the radio or at the VMA awards***. Some hipsters will undoubtedly say the same thing, but will more than likely contradict themselves by not listening to a band that they deem 'too popular' or 'old.'
3. Some of my clothing choices coincide with the hipster dress code.
The differences:
- If I look poor it's because I am poor. No, that's not entirely true, but I hardly spend any money at clothes. If they're ripped up and old looking, it's because I've been wearing them for several years.
- Yes, I shop at thrift stores. Yes, I pursue a certain aesthetic in what I wear. However, the two have nothing to do with each other. I shop at thrift stores because I won't be conned into paying $75 for a pair of jeans that cost 5 cents to make and I won't support the clothing industry that thrives on paying sweatshop workers 2 cents or some crazy low figure for making a pair of jeans.
- My chosen aesthetic (or aesthetics, as it may be) is eclectic in a strictly non hipster sense. While I wear things sometimes that fit perfectly with many peoples' ideas of what hipsters wear, I also wear things that hipsters just don't wear. In addition to being mistaken for a hipster, I have also been taken as a goth, as a metalhead (is there a difference?), as a hippy, as a nerd, as a jock, as an emo, because of what I wear. I wear what's comfortable and available, depending on the occasion. Sometimes I wear uncomfortably tight pants straight from the womens' section, sometimes I wear ridiculously billowy pants.
4. I have in the past indulged in blatant narcissism (I look like an evil jesus!), but I mean, come on. I took that picture with my toes. Give me some props for that. Also, I'm not sure it's exactly in keeping with the hipster aesthetic.
5. I also occasionally voice my opinions about global warming, globalization, lgbt issues, anarchism, etc., but haven't done a damn thing to contribute. Why is this not hypocritical? Well, I suppose it is. But I am broken. I need to fix myself before I go about fixing the rest of the world.
6. No similarity here, just a list of contradictions to any claim that I'm a hipster.
- I'M A COMPLETE AND UTTER FUCKING SHUTIN. I don't even remember the last time I was at a party, but I can guarantee you I didn't enjoy it. You may have been there. Remember that guy who made an awkward entrance, feebly tried to pursue some coherent line of conversation with one or two people, then spent the rest of the night either a) drinking and/or smoking himself to silence (it doesn't take much) and retreating way far back into the recesses of his own head while sitting either awkwardly in the middle of everything or awkwardly far away from the rest of the party or b) drifting around for a while, avoiding eye contact with people and finding temporary refuges where little movement or conversation amongst other people was taking place and leaving shortly thereafter? Yea, I know you don't. That was me though.
- I don't drink much. At all. Especially not PBR. I don't remember ever drinking PBR, but if I did I probably didn't enjoy it.
- I don't go to concerts much. At all. In fact I think I can still count the number of concerts I've been to. Not counting my own, counting music festivals (been to two of them) as one concert per night, and setting aside all ambiguities as to what qualifies as a concert and what doesn't, I would say the maximum number of concerts one could rightly say I've been to comes to about... 15. And some of those were involuntary. As in, my parents dragged me to them before I was old enough to really object. Or appreciate it.
Completely lost my train of thought now, so I think it's time to bring this collection of sweeping generalizations and run-on sentences to an end. Like I said, I wish I could rightly say I'll get to posting the rest of my Europe pictures soon, as well as the few I've taken since coming back to America, but I doubt I will. I also wish I could say that I'll be looking at all your lovely deviations and journals soon, but I don't see that happening either. Some day. Keep your fingers crossed. All 3 of you.
J
*DISCLAIMER*
Everyone's experience of hipsters will differ. This is mine. It is not the most enlightened, as I tend to avoid hipsters, along with most everyone else. If this subject interests you, do a search. I'm sure there are blistering and blustering articles left and right, as well as articles by hipsters (who adamantly maintain that they aren't hipsters) bashing those who indulge in hipster hating.
*FOR GIGGLES*
[link]
Probably not funny if you haven't previously heard of hipsters.
*it's difficult to find a decent image compilation of hipsters (so elusive, yet so pervasive), so let me summarize to the best of my meager abilities: anything vintage; black, thick framed glasses, often fake; skin tight jeans; DIY haircuts and colouring; inappropriately large, black sunglasses; chuck taylors or look-alikes; corduroy pants or vests; thrift store regalia; retro-looking hats (fedoras? porkpies?); etc. Basically they spend a large amount of money to make themselves look poor. Admittedly, this is a rather diverse (but still uncomprehensive, as far as clothes that hipsters wear) list of clothing. Spend a small amount of time around a large number of hipsters though, and you will shortly recognize their very rigid dress code.
**anything indie, the more obscure the better. The ideal band for a hipster is one that only he/she and a select few know about. As soon as all of his/her friends start getting into the artist(s) in question though, the hipster will immediately dismiss it as mainstream and search on for as of yet undiscovered bands, even though most people within the indie/alternative culture will not have even heard of said band. Yet many hipsters still enjoy the Clash and Bob Dylan.
*** Unfortunately, some of my favourite music can now be heard on the radio and perhaps can be seen at the VMA awards. I wouldn't know though, since I don't follow that stuff. It used to be a major sore point but I have since grown to accept the fact that many talented musicians, for a variety of reasons, accept or even embrace (relative) popularity in the music world rather than remain in obscurity. After all, being on the radio isn't inherently bad; what bothers me is the over commercialization and accompanying loss of originality, meaning and purpose that often come with becoming popular. I imagine it's a fine line to walk, but then again I imagine that some people don't even see it as such.
Dead
Homesick
